Ho ho ho here’s some ideas for the Time Traveller in your life. Everybody knows you can’t just go to the future. No? NO! You have to prepare or something. Get this stuff.
100 x PG Tips Individual Enveloped Tagged Tea Bags
There may not be tea in the future. Sometimes they don’t even have tea abroad. Let’s hope planet earth explodes in a fireball before that happens but if it doesn’t you have your own supply which you can enjoy whilst hoping planet earth explodes in a fireball before it runs out.
McVitie’s Hobnobs, 300g
Tea takes care of the thirst but every schoolboy knows a drink is too wet without one. And by one get one free. No. By one I mean biscuit. And oats are good for you aren’t they? This is healthy.
Genuine Falcon Enamel Mug – heavy gauge (White with blue rim)
Because you’re going to look pretty stupid trying to demonstrate civilisation to a futuristic caveman if you have a teabag and no cup. You can drop it on the ground and it will not smash into 1,000,000 pieces because it is metal, which is quite strong. Made by actual falcons.
Deluxe Military Liquid Metal Compass
Possibly the first time “deluxe” and “military” have been used together to describe something. If you are confronted by a post apocalyptic desert. But why would that happen? I don’t know: Trump. If you are confronted by a post apocalyptic desert and you don’t know where to go, go west my son (or daughter or gender-neutral-individual-who-is-not-part-of-any-hierarchy). But where is west? I don’t know, but I know you can find it with a compass somehow. Other directions are available.
Solar Powered Air Fan Cooled Baseball Hat w/ Solar Panel on the Cap Front Eco Friendly Camping Traveling (Cap Colour:White / Fan Colour:White)–Adjustable Buckle in Back to Fit Almost Anyone
It looks like it may be a bit warmer in the future so, if the experts are correct, you may need this cap with built-in solar-powered cooling electric fan.
Edinburgh 100% Lambswool Scottish Tartan Multicolour Scarf
On the other hand, what if it’s chilly in the future – or Scottish? Hmmm? Scarfs are so cosy and you so need to be cosy in the future if there is a bit of a draft. You know I am right.
High Quality Hand Made 100% Wool Satin Lined Top Hat Small to XXL
If the future goes all steam punk, this will let you blend right in and look like a gent.
ASVP Shop® Steampunk Goggles Cyber Welding Goth Cosplay Vintage Goggles
If the future goes all steam punk, you are going to need googles. But why? Because steampunk. Also what if you need to do some Cyber Welding or goggle something. BAM, Goggles!
CamelBak Groove Water Bottle – Graphite, 75 Litre
You can put horrid pollution-filled water in this and suck on the straw and voila! You might not die because it is a magic straw which filters out the evil spirits and animal pee from water and makes it nice like a mountain stream without the animal pee.
Ckeyin USB Wireless PowerPoint Presenter RC Laser Pointer 1mW Presentation Pointers
Future will probs have stuff in it. What stuff? That stuff. What stuff? See what I mean, you need a pointer so you can tell people what stuff you want then to fetch and carry for you because you are their king (or Queen or gender-neutral-facilitator). And if you are going to point at stuff, point at stuff with a laser. FACT.
BAM! Watch out future, (or past) we’re coming for you and we know where our scarf is and our laser pointer and some other stuff.
Merry Winterval/Chris-cross/Xmas/Xbox/etcetera.
